18 Months

Yesterday I heard the news that my Aunt has been given 18 months to live. This is my Uncle's wife, just to be clear that it is not one of my Mom's siblings.

About a month ago I was at my Mom's house when she got the call from her brother that his wife had had two seizures and was in the hospital. With further testing it was determined that she had inoperable cancer in her brain but that they were going to do chemo and radiation to try to shrink it and there was hope that she would find some benefit from that and would show improvement.

In the meantime though her condition continued to go down hill and she was losing the ability to communicate etc. I'm not sure what changed between a week or so ago and yesterday but now they have given her 18 months and it made me think. If you or your spouse were given 18 months, what in the world would you do?

My first thought was quit work, and do everything you ever wanted to do in life. But, as it turns out my Aunt is already slightly incapacitated and I'm not sure that it will improve and my Uncle has to work to pay the bills. I tried to look at it from my Uncle's prespective and wondered how on Earth he will manage to continue going to work every day and not be just desperate to get home to spend time with her rather then "wasting" time at work that could be spent on more meaningful things and creating as many memories as possible.

I also tried to imagine it from their adult kids perspective and that was just awful. They're youngest can already hardly bear to be with her Mom in this condition and I just pray that she finds a way to get over that and make the most of her 18 months.

18 months people! Honestly how can that even be comprehended! I'm completely dumb founded and I will admit that I typically only saw my Aunt at holiday's for the most part but it's just really gotten to me, I can't imagine what it's doing to anyone closer to her. It's incredibly sad, she will never be a Grandmother, my Uncle will have to find a way to live the next 40+ years without her assuming he lives into his 90's and her kids will have to learn to know life without their Mom. It's unimagineable to me.

So, the point of this blog was not to depress everyone, or collect sympathy. The point is thought. Think about it, if the most awful of awful things was to happen and you were given 18 months with a loved one, what would you do? How would you spend it? In your day to day life, please remember what you have and what others are losing and reconsider how much attention you devote to the stressors of life, how long you hold onto a grudge. Pay special attention to the small moments that make the day awesome and never for a second take advantage of what you have or think too long about what you wish you had, because you never know when someone will drop 18 months on you.